Copyright 2015 Jesse Gersten | All Rights Reserved.

Jujitsu Jesus and the Crucifiction Crack Rocks

Christian Wrestlers Body Slam For God

Small bands of masked evangelists, clad in tights and armed with biblical names, argue it is. The violence and intensity of wrestling, they claim, can be the perfect way to attract the alternative, younger crowd.

Past recruiting endeavors have included Religious Pit bull Fights where the dog that lives is encouraged to follow a more holy path. Members have also been known to pose as gang members in prison where they will first try to convert you, then shank you with a sharpened cross before dropping the deadly shiv down the drainpipe and heading off to the mess hall for bug juice and sloppy joes. And if you’ve ever smoked the popular crucifixion brand crack rock, you can’t possibly believe that there’s no “message”. How about next time you get “high on religion”.

At the beginning of some “Wrestling for Jesus” shows, wrestler Chase “Darkness” Cliett is strapped to a massive wooden cross on stage as piercing music is played. A group of evil wrestlers beats and bloodies him before the good guys dramatically come to his rescue. Later, after a horned fellow in a red suit is knocked out, the preaching begins.

Fun for the whole family! Come on down and enjoy face painting, cotton candy, and the petting zoo before indulging in some wholesome bloody steel cage beatdowns in the name of your lord and savior.

But it’s not for everyone; many churches won’t even consider letting them perform.

Instead they opt to torture you with two hours of Amy Grant.

One performance ended with real fighting, real cursing and a repentant participant stretched-out face-down in the ring weeping.

Sounds like a typical Sunday afternoon at NASCAR.

Another group, Christian Wrestling Federation, is based in Texas. It has a board of eight preachers in addition to a core of dozen entertainers that use each match to entertain the crowd and preach, the newspaper reported.

The Deacon of Doom!

George the Animal Stigmata!

The Punching Preacher!

Jujitsu Jesus!

Stone Cold Saint Austin!

The Junkyard Cardinal!

Sinister Minister!

Pope John Paul IV!

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble… Amen!!!

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