Copyright 2015 Jesse Gersten | All Rights Reserved.

Guinness on the Ungrateful Pavement


Ohio police officers get drunk — on purpose – AP

Fri Feb 26, 2:56 pm ET

DAYTON, Ohio – Law enforcement officers in southwest Ohio were chugging down alcoholic drinks this week as part of a training exercise on how to give field sobriety tests. Several police officers and deputy sheriffs in Montgomery County volunteered to drink so colleagues could practice conducting the tests given to suspected drunk drivers.

How did they ever manage to find police officers willing to volunteer their valuable time to get drunk in the name of better police work? Especially since they have to get drunk after work as well, and for most of them, before work too. Soon they’ll be mixing up other aspects of their lives by having them abuse their partners and plant drugs in their kid’s backpacks. Oh, the confusion…

Dayton officer Will Wright says officials wanted officers to drink until they had slurred speech, glassy eyes and a lack of coordination.

Upon entering the “training facility”, the Irish officers in the study were told “job well done”, given a pat on the butt, and allowed to leave, whereupon the proud officers decided to continue the training exercise on their own time.

One test required intoxicated officers to walk heel-to-toe down a line and then hold up one leg to demonstrate balance.

An extra 10 points were given for a proper Nazi salute.

Wright says he hopes the exercise at the Dayton Police Academy helped officers gain a better understanding of how to deal with impaired drivers.

The first step was to make better use of confiscated alcohol that would previously have been poured onto the ungrateful pavement. Using the confiscated alcohol for more training exercises was an obvious choice for step number two. The third step was to drink the confiscated alcohol before beating the impaired drivers instead of afterwards in order to add a little enjoyment to an otherwise stressful job. Step four is a toast to a successful study before repeating steps one through three.


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