Ting Wun I’m soooo sleeeeeepy. There’s been a construction crew working right outside of my apartment for the past week or so. If there were any roosters in my town, they’d equally annoyed at having their slumber interrupted. The banging and drilling and yelling is so loud seems like its right in my bedroom. It’s [...]

I had the misfortune today of dealing with someone who reinforced every negative Jewish stereotype imaginable. At the risk of overusing a popular analogy, it was more annoying than having someone scrape a screaming baby across a chalkboard. By the end of the day I was seriously considering converting. I’m not sure what I’d convert [...]

The nasty little bugger was nesting on the south side of my plate. I was initially oblivious to its existence, but the look of fear on Paul’s face let me know that something was amiss. Something that could scare a grown man. Something evil. He slowly pointed to the mozzarella stick and I cautiously…perhaps stupidly, [...]

Thing 1 Today I saw a woman with the most gigantic ass I’ve ever seen on a mammal. It was as if she stuffed her jeans with a pair of fully grown pheasants. She has to be the only person that’s taller when she’s sitting than when she’s standing up. Thing 2 Not long ago [...]

This post is directed to those of you who are watching Enter the Ninja right now. Everyone else can just go away and come back tomorrow when I’ve written something that you might understand. Ok, now that they’re gone let’s get down to business. I have a question, what’s the deal with white ninjas? I [...]

Some of my favorite recent television moments moment 1a and 1b The waning moments of Independence Day, when America figures out how to destroy the aliens, eliciting joyous celebrations from around the world. Cut to a group of African tribesmen jumping up and down, waving their spears in the air. One thing is for certain, [...]