Here are my thoughts on recent Google searches people have used which somehow led to my site and links to the innocent posts that were subsequently victimized.

Movies for Blind People – First of all… as I’ve mentioned before, they already have movies for blind people, which most people refer to as the radio. Unless you’re talking about Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, which falls under the category of Movies that make people blind, or Movies that make people envy the blind.

Black Ethiopian Porn – This has me wondering why someone felt the need to specify a particular race. He must have been safeguarding against the possibility that his valuable self compu-loving time could be wasted by some selfish white Ethiopian sharecropper who moonlights in the burgeoning east African porn industry. If you’re not turned on by highly visible skeletal structures and grain burns on the knees, then you’re probably better off watching the circling flies engage in consensual copulation.

Police Ballgag – As if police related activity didn’t make me uncomfortable enough without throwing ball gags into the mix. Is the ball gag used to keep people from mouthing off when rogue cops decide to have a little too much fun with their nightsticks? Either way I’m a little bit disturbed.

Bill Hicks 2010 Tour Dates – This one baffles me the most. Will he be controlled like a marionette with strings attached to all his moveable parts? You could either play one of his cds or have someone backstage doing his jokes and move his mouth to make it seem like he’s talking. Carlos Mencia would work nicely for this. It would be an impressive tour, with Hicks, Kinison, Richard Pryor, and Abe Vigoda. Watch out for the Laugh Til’ You Drop Tour, coming soon to a city near you.

Roofie Porn – They actually have another word for this. Its called rape, and whatever creep was responsible for this Google search, stay away from my site, and castrate yourself, in that order.

Jujitsu Jesus – I guess a little self-defense training might have helped Jesus a little bit. But then again, if things turned out differently, what would Italians put around their necks?