After nearly six decades of painstaking research in the field of rubber animals, utilizing a myriad of scientific research methods such as placebos, protractors, and double-blind phone surveys, I have come to four conclusions: 1 – Of all the rubber animals, rubber ducks are the most baby-friendly, while rubber chickens not only scare all babies, [...]
In this ultra-important series of posts, I’m going to be exploring various sayings to either prove them to be accurate, or I’ll do everyone a favor by disproving them, killing and burying them deep in the cold hard earth, and then I’ll spit on their graves, mercilessly insult them, and steal flowers from their tombstone [...]
I spent some time last summer at Revere Beach, just north of Boston, and a wee bit west of 1985. Revere Beach is tied for the grimiest beach on the planet with whatever unfortunate body of sand that’s currently being corrupted by the douchbaggery emitting from the feet of any particular Jersey Shore cast member. [...]
This is a tale of a show I did at the Roadhouse Café located deep in the backwoods of New Hampshire. I love how they added Café as if it added a touch of elegance. You’d swear you were dining in Paris if it weren’t for the spit cups on the table and the Toby [...]
New line of cartoons… The Jersey Farm! Let me know if you like it and I’ll put them on t-shirts in my store.
I was awoken at the ungodly hour of five this morning by my giant, constantly hungry feline, who wouldn’t stop meowing until I got out of bed to feed him. With him always trying to eat people food, and being so obnoxiously loud and furry, I’m starting to suspect that the fur is actually hair [...]
